Chapter 12 (K)

It takes me a minute to soak that in. Gerad killing someone? That’s impossible, right?

“Wasn’t he in an accident? How could an accident be your fault?” I ask. Please let him be wrong, let this all be a mistake, a delusion…

“It was an accident. But if I hadn’t made him stop that day…if I hadn’t tried to get his attention…if I never saw him that day…” his voice fades, and he buries his face in his free hand.

I feel awful. Here’s Gerad right in front of me, suffering, and I was the one who triggered it. “Gerad,” I start, and he looks up at me. His sadness washes over me, and I take a deep breath, gripping his hand tighter. Don’t break down now, I have to stay strong. Strong. I feel immensely better.

“You can’t live life full of regrets. What happened in the past stays there, and there’s no use keeping on thinking of what could’ve happened. You can’t change the fact that Lukas died,” he flinches, but I continue, “What you can do though is to honour his life with something more than regret. I’m pretty sure he’d want you to do that. He sounds like a very good friend. This message is just a joke, a nasty and idiotic prank someone pulled. If I ever find out whoever made this, I’ll beat the crap out of him or her.” I know these are merely excuses, and threadbare ones at that, but at least they’ll provide some comfort.

Gerad sits there in silence for a couple of minutes. “Err, Kaya?”

“Yeah?” Breathe, Kaya. Nothing’s going to happen, right?

“You’re starting to hurt my hand.”

I look at his hand and see I’ve been gripping it hard enough to turn the knuckles white and cut off his blood circulation. “Ack! Sorry! I hope I didn’t hurt you,” I yelp. I guess whatever stress I had went into squeezing the life out of his hand.

A crooked smile creeps onto his face. “Nothing serious, but I probably won’t be able to use my right hand for awhile.”

I smile. Now this was the Gerad I know. I’m really relieved. I look up at the clock and realize it’s 3:14.

“I should probably go.” I get up unsteadily, my legs feel like lead weights from sitting on them so awkwardly. I grab my purse and slide my tablet inside. I start waling towards the door.

“Here, let me escort you to the front door. It’s the least I can do,” Gerad says, getting up. He still looks a bit shaken, but I think he’ll be alright. I really do hope he will be.

I slip on my boots and open the heavy front door. “I know my way back down, don’t worry about it.” I swallow. “And if you ever want to talk about Lukas, I’m always here, ok?”

He smiles and nods. “Thanks Kaya.”

Even after the door closes, I wait outside to make sure he doesn’t crumble as soon as I leave, but I hear nothing. I’m satisfied enough to head towards the elevator.

I press the down button and wait. When the doors slide open, it’s empty, thank goodness. I don’t think I’d be able to handle being around people right now. As I step in, I’m startled to see a disheveled, ashen-faced figure looking back at me.

It’s just me. I giggle at myself for being so jumpy. I’m in such a mess that even I think I don't look like a normal person. I re-tie my ponytail and straighten my clothes. I still look a bit pale, but that’ll change as soon as I get outside into the warm air.

The moment of happiness is fleet though, as I look at my purse and remember the tablet. I know I had told Gerad that this was a sick joke played by somebody, but I can’t convince myself that. There’s something telling me that Lukas, who’s supposedly dead, is behind all of this. But how?

Yay! I managed to crank another one out, albeit a bit late at night. I already have the next chapter on the way, so stay tuned!